A New Journey

Today, I just want to safely announce that some time ago, I found out that this happened.

Which means, I am already at the next phase of my life. I planned on going to a few places this year to satisfy my wanderlust. But right now, God put me on an even better journey (right?).

I won't say I was thrilled when I first found out. I started to worry about a few things.

1. What about that trip to Italy or New York or Maldives or wherever in December?
2. House renovation plans. That will set me back about 30k at least.
3. Can my shoes still fit after giving birth. My Ferragamo actually. I don't really mind about the others. =x
4. Whether I can still splurge on myself. Can I still shop and save for my bags?
5. How my body is going to change. I already put on a few kgs now.

6. Can I perm my hair? :/

I thought I could still enjoy life as a non-parent first. You can say I am actually mentally unprepared and selfish. Just look at the list of things that I was worrying about. Nothing about being a good parent and such. Nothing about baby's well-being. So yeah I do agree I was selfish to even worry about all those and not care about how I am going to be as a parent and how baby is going to grow. But I guess this is my rezeki. I realised that it's my time, and I should be happy. Then I felt bad for being selfish at all cause some people wish for one right now but maybe it's not their time yet. So now all I hope is for baby to be healthy. I may not know what it feels like to be in the shoes of people who are trying but don't give up and don't despair ladies, your time will come and good things happen to those who wait. :) I know I'm not helping much. :/ 

I found out somewhere in early February. On three pregnancy test kits and a visit to the clinic. Zai and I was just trying out the test kits for fun, my period wasn't even that late yet for us to suspect that I am pregnant haha. Zai was happier. I, on the other hand, was surprised and shocked. Like I said, I had plans and none of them involved a baby at the moment haha. 

But I am embracing this fact and I am really thankful and happy. And I hope to still travel, and spend on myself, despite having a baby but I really don't know if that's possible. Especially not this year cause I'll be pregnant for most part of the year and baby will only be a few months old in December so traveling in December might not be possible. Plus the house renovation to pay for this year as well!

I'm nervous, unprepared, not ready and clueless about this whole thing. So far I have been battling with:
1. Nausea
2. Headaches
3. Fatigue
4. Vomiting 
5. Loss of appetite
6. Hungry all the time
7. Motion sickness

Been wanting to just rant about this but decided to wait until I'm 12 weeks into it. So yes, finally reached my 12 weeks therefore at my second trimester and announcing it here. Hehe. I cannot stand being hungry but have no appetite to eat. It's like, I need to eat but I can't eat if not I will vomit. You know how depressing that is? :/

Been to two appointments with the gynae so far and both times I was excited to see baby on the screen during the scan. Super excited to know the gender too, which will be in two months I think, cause I've been looking at baby clothes everywhere I go especially girls clothes! Haha. June will be our last trip together as a couple only (or maybe with our families) and we're thinking of somewhere near to go without having to spend much.

Oh and, I am also looking at pregnant woman's fashion now especially for this coming raya hahaha. I can't fit into most of my pants anymore!