Thursday, May 23, 2013

Right & Wrong

Yesterday I attended a workshop at work titled "Women are always right and men are never wrong." The speaker showed us these two pictures and I laughed.

I couldn't agree more with the above. Haha!

The workshop was very useful and informational in understanding the opposite gender! Although at times we will never understand each other, even after many years. According to the speaker there are three things that married couples usually quarrel about. 

1) Intimacy
2) Money
3) Kids

1) Intimacy

What this means is before getting married, the man will be in his hunting season mode. He will do almost anything to get the woman. He will talk nicely to her, buy her gifts, praise her, until he gets her. This will go on until the they both get married and then, it will slowly die down. This does not mean he has changed okay girls. This just means he is back to his NORMAL self. Yes, during the hunting season he is actually abnormal. Men are NOT romantic by nature. It can be nurtured but not by nature. 

Thus, when a couple gets married, the effort put in by men decreases while the expectation of women increases. This causes a huge gap between the men's effort and the women's expectations. How to overcome this? Men, please put in more effort. Women, please lower down your expectations.

It is also said that before marriage, men will win 50% of the arguments. During engagement, they will win 25% of the arguments and after the wedding, it is advisable for men not to win any argument because they will never win. I think this is very true because that is what's happening to my parents. They used to argue a lot and now, whenever my mom is unhappy my dad will just let her be, explain to her nicely or smile and laugh. Haha!

2) Money 

Before marriage, men's target is to save as much money as possible, to get married. He will feel that he needs to be financially stable before he can commit to having a wife and family. After the wedding, he feels that he has met his target of supporting his family, so he would like to spend on himself. Which includes things like the latest gadgets in the market.

Before marriage, women are likely to be more conscious of how they look. Women spend on themselves to impress the men, and to look nice. From make up, to hair, to facial products, to clothes and shoes. After wedding, she feels like money is security. She needs to have money in order to feel secure. Thus, she will save as much as she can. 10 cents might make a lot of difference to her. She will also need this sense of security from her husband by the monthly allowance from him. In case anything bad happens, she knows that she has some money to fall back on.

It is advisable not to hurt a man's ego. His ego is his pride. If he really has no money at the moment, it is best not to announce this to everyone by saying loudly in a restaurant, "I pay for you la since you're broke now and have no money." Although you are just being nice by trying to pay for his meal, don't hurt his ego by letting everyone know this.

Therefore, before marriage, men are savers and women are spenders. After wedding, men are spenders and women are savers.

3) Kids

Kids need to be developed in three areas. IQ, EQ and AQ (adversity quotient where they get up from failures). Women are very good at developing IQ. She will want to enrol her kids into many different classes and will not allow her kids to be deprived of what other kids are learning. She is driven by performance. Her kids must be able to perform.

Men are very good at developing EQ and AQ. Men are not driven by performance. They are driven by fun. They rather play with the kids. In that way, men teach kids to get up after falling. When the kid falls down, women will be worried and ensure that the kid is alright from top to toe. Men will just ask the kid to get up and continue walking. This, will develop their AQ.

Anyway you guys can do this love language test (click click!) to know your love language. There are five love languages:

1) Words of Affirmation
2) Acts of Service
3) Quality Time
4) Physical Touch
5) Receiving Gifts

I did the test and my result is:

Try yours! You can understand your partner better. And the result is true for me because I always want to hear words of affirmation from him, followed by spending time. I asked him to do the test too and he got 'Receiving Gifts'. Looks like I have to get more random gifts. Hah. At the end of the test there'll be a short description of each love language. Share what kind of love language profile you girls have k! :) Oh and you can try the apology language test too.

Anywayyy, the long weekend is coming! I'll be out and about having dinners and meeting friends. :D Enjoy the long weekend! :)


  1. mine was word of affirmation too! haha. but we did it in kursus, whatever the speaker said was said during kursus that i attended. hehe. i find it very very useful too =D

    1. Seriously? I hope I still have more to look forward for the pre-marriage course! Then this is like my pre-pre marriage course then. Haha. We same same! I thought a lot of people would prefer words actually but was surprised that my fiance prefers gifts!